A Lesson From the Ant

A Message from the Lord...2 ME!

6 You lazy fool, look at an ant.
Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two.7 Nobody has to tell it what to do.

8 All summer it stores up food;
at harvest it stockpiles provisions.

9 So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing?
How long before you get out of bed?

10 A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there,
sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next?

11 Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life,
poverty your permanent houseguest!
Always Cooking Up Something Nasty

(proverbs 6:5-11)

WHOA!!! ok this was part of my daily reading today and as soon as I read this section of proverbs i knew the Lord was talking to me. Tight but Right!

I dont mind in anyway being chastized by the Lord because he always does it in LOVE!!!! His ways, his instructions, his rebukes are always right. He says love wisdom and I do. It only makes my life better.

So Thank You Lord for the early morning spanking...I needed it and I love you even the more for it!!

Now I'm off to accomplish what the Lord has put me on this earth to do!

Pity Party

This day started with me throwing myself my very own Pity Party. That's right i kept right on looking at every issue in my life, at every not so good circumstance till I felt completely worthless, useless. I wanted to cry and just lay in the bed all day. Why is it when life is not going smoothly that one could sit/lay around and sulk all day. Matter of fact that was my plan until I received an email.

This email was just what i needed. No it wasn't a "you can do anything" kind of email but an email detailing an issue someone very close to me was having.

I just love God. You know immediately I got me off my mind and began to be concerned about someone else. I said a prayer and wrote back encouraging her. I truly believe that God can work out any situation.

Its true. When your going thru get your mind off yourself and begin to pray for someone else. I tell you each and everytime I have prayed for someone else while im going through God shows up STRONG in my LIFE!!!! I just love God. He is soooo AWESOME!!!

HEY HEY, HEY HEY (in my best Dwayne voice)

I'm Back!!!!! Renewed, Refreshed and Re-energized!!!! Geesh so much has happened since i last blogged.

I don't work at the agengy that I gave my life to for the last 5 years and im loving the freedom. You know what some people may look at as a tragedy, I saw as an opportunity. That's right an opportunity to really excel and accomplish what I was put on this earth to do career wise. God has given me so many ideas in the last two months that I have been completely overwhelmed at the tasks that were laid before me. But I've since learned that this thing is a complete FAITH WALK! Super excited!!!!

God said this is a season of Building and Completion!!!! Everything has got to come to pass.

I've also begun walking. Whew was that hard to start. But like i've said i have very good friends. Friends that hold you accountable. One in particular made sure that I woke up each morning and met her at the track. Now im walking by myself. I walk because I feel better, it's good for my body, now im able to run around with my 7 and 5 year old and to even do football drills with my 7 year old. I love it...that is once i get out there. I am up to 3 miles each day. YAY ME!!!!
I've joined a walking forum(more accountablity) and have even taken my kids out to the track with me. I cant wait till the weight starts coming off. My goal: lose 60lbs by my birthday next year. Very doable.

School starts for my kids in two weeks (oh so happy) and we are just preparing for that.

You know my whole life is finally getting some order. I hope to start back to school full=time in a couple of weeks. I really need to do something cause this stay at home mom thing is not for me.

In the meantime I have been getting all the paperwork in order to incorporate my non-profit. That is a lot of work tryin to get a business off the ground. I realized i can't run it out of my home, too lazy here lol.

I promise i wont stay away this long anymore.

More about me to come. See Ya....

A Transformed Mind!

Singles Class...Great Again! One of my sisters n class who just recently got divorced said a mouthful 2nite. One of the things she mentioned was about transformation of the mind. She stressed how we can't change ourselves we don't have the power to. But we must submerge ourselves in the Word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to transform our minds. That in itself is powerful; however it was just confirmation to me from what God had spoken to me earlier.

You see a good amount of my day was spent thinking abt whether this particular guy was going to call me or not. Now this guy is my highschool boyfriend we have manged to stay n touch all of these years. He has been thru a lot and so have I have. Now we seem to be pretty close and talk often especially abt if we end up 2gether. Well I really like him. I like the man he has turned out to be.

So of course my friends are my springboard. So I was texting my bff all day stating how I refuse to call him anymore.

Anywho while on fb one of my "friends" posted as a man thinketh so is he. It hit me that all I was thinking abt was him and negative thoughts. And at that moment I thought," I need to get my mind right." Whew!

So I did. I called my bff and immediately she said seek ye first the kindom of God and his righteousness and All these things will be added unto u. I said yep I know, Holy Spirit already reminded me. I needed to get my mind off others, stop having a pity party and begin to worship.

Pastor's message title for this past sunday was "I Must Worship"

That's exactly what I needed to do WORSHIP!!!!
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

I'm In Love

Yep that's right I'm in love...with JESUS!!!! You thought it was a new man in my life. Nope not yet.

God is just so Good. Last night I got ready to sin b/c i got so mad at a person but just in the nick of time The Holy Spirit reminded me of who I was. Luke 6:28 popped up in my spirit so quick and I immediately got myself together. Well maybe not immediately but i did not sin. You know God says be angry but sin NOT!!!! It would seem like being angry and doing the wrong thing go hand in hand. But they don't. I have even tried to justify my wrong actions noting that i was angry. But God don't go for that either.

It was such a good feeling to know that b4 I got ready to do something crazy God gently, lovingly reminded me of who i was. I just love the Lord with all my heart. I'm amazed and in awe at how much he loves and cares about me.

Was it easy to pray for those who despitefully use me. Not at first but thank God for Godly friends. Who when I'm off they are on. My good friend Trina said say the Lord's Prayer. She reminded me that Jesus taught us how to pray and that saying the Lord's Prayer covers everything, my sin, the person's sin, and reminds me that I need to let God's Will be done and not mine. Hallelujah!!!!! Man was that right on time!

Lord You are good to me even when i don't know how to be good to myself. I will forever praise you!!!

I'm holding me up

Ok so yesterday the summit ended and he texted me his goodbye. I wanted to c him b4 he left, I wanted him to hug me. But he didn't and I know that was 4 the best. I really do. Friday night we talked face to face and I told him how I felt and he told me how he felt. That was good b/c I had to get what I was feeling out. One comment he made really got to me though

He said, "I restored his faith in Women."

Well who cares I aint the woman u choose. I think I was suppose to take that comment as a compliment but I really didn't care.

U know how u have that picture of the perfect man 4 u, well he was it.
So getting to the whole point y I wrote this post is b/c I text my bestfriend and told her how I was feeling and she texts me back the real deal.

Now I don't know abt any1 else but I have friends that tell me the truth no matter what. Those are the kind of friends I have to have.

Well she broke it down 4 me. She basically said that I can't move forward without shutting the door on my past. So True matter of fact her and I have had this conversation many of times and what she was talking abt was the fact that I haven't filed for my divorce yet. I have been separated from my former husband for 7 years. I know I know ur probably wondering Y? So am I lol, but really I just haven't.

Let me clear up ur thoughts. No we r not still n love w/each other. In fact we don't even like each other (that's a whole other post). Just neither of us have filed. WOW. Writing this makes me feel dumb.

Now I believe everything n the bible so I know what the Word says about this and I know what the Holy Spirit has told me on several occasions abt getting my divorce. So like my friend said I'm the only one holding up my blessing. I believe God does everything n decency and order. There I've said it.

I'm holding me up!!!

Ok no more of me blogging abt what I've missed out on b/c I have been the cause of me missing a blessing.

This journey aint easy y'all and it took I guy that I desired to be w/to get married to some1 else for me to fully understand what God's been tryin to tell me all along. I hear U loud and clear Lord.

Sooooo another lesson learned n this class called Life...I hope I don't 4get it!
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Wooooo (deep breath now)

i let him read what i wrote about him. i think it satisfied my desire to tell him everything i was feelin and not have to verbally say it. We agreed b4 he read it not to talk about it. He began reading and i left the room. Maybe i was having a selfish moment. Who knows. I really am happy for him. He truly deserves it and I just need to leave it at that. Honestly, I much rather be married then single. I desire a mate but I also want the one that is completely right for me. I'll wait. I trust God. Maybe its just the fact that it's not me getting married. Oh by the way I want to talk to him now lol

feeling weird

ok here i am at this youth summit and it is really strange. A guy that i used to date and once was very close to i have just seen. Here is the kicker him and I have remained friends even though we stopped dating a couple years back. And we are good friends. I have always been able to talk to him about anything. Ok bringing you current, He found a girl fell in love with her and now they are in engaged. WOOOO (me taking a deep breath) I am genuinely happy for him. He is a great guy not One complaint!!!!! I just hate it isn't me! Selfish yeah i know but it's the truth. I know she is a great woman and he deserves all the happiness in the world but being this close to him makes me wanna cry and scream, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOOSE ME!!!!!! I'm just bein real. Anyway, since I found out he was engaged I have removed his number from my phone and I don't call him for anything...not even to just say hi. I respect his decision and his future wife and I needed to remove the temptation. We have agreed to just hangout after dinner. No not in his room I choose an open area but i so want to tell him that how devastated I was when i found out. But i won't. Typin this really helped me get this off my chest and I am ok now.

On another note I began reading this book titled: You're Broke Because You Want To Be. What a great read and a good kick in the butt for ME!!!! Man God knows exactly what you need when you need it. I'm tired of being broke it's got to stop. And that starts with me.

Our Singles class at church is off the chain lol. Really it is. Everyone in the class enjoys it. I am really learning and growing but most important God is healing me through this class. It's crazy I didn't know I had all this residue left from previous relationships. The most important thing i'm learning is how to be whole as a Single woman. Wow I could talk about God and what he is doing in my life all night long but i have to go back into this dinner banquet. I'll update later. Holla lol

Let's Get this thing started

Ok I finally completed set-up of my blog and I'm excited. I thing the idea of blogging is great. I always have a lot to say lol. I'll be saying whatever I want cause this is A blog ALL ABOUT ME!!!! Well gotta get ready 4 tomorrow. I'll be mobile blogging so STAY TUNED!!!!