feeling weird

ok here i am at this youth summit and it is really strange. A guy that i used to date and once was very close to i have just seen. Here is the kicker him and I have remained friends even though we stopped dating a couple years back. And we are good friends. I have always been able to talk to him about anything. Ok bringing you current, He found a girl fell in love with her and now they are in engaged. WOOOO (me taking a deep breath) I am genuinely happy for him. He is a great guy not One complaint!!!!! I just hate it isn't me! Selfish yeah i know but it's the truth. I know she is a great woman and he deserves all the happiness in the world but being this close to him makes me wanna cry and scream, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOOSE ME!!!!!! I'm just bein real. Anyway, since I found out he was engaged I have removed his number from my phone and I don't call him for anything...not even to just say hi. I respect his decision and his future wife and I needed to remove the temptation. We have agreed to just hangout after dinner. No not in his room I choose an open area but i so want to tell him that how devastated I was when i found out. But i won't. Typin this really helped me get this off my chest and I am ok now.

On another note I began reading this book titled: You're Broke Because You Want To Be. What a great read and a good kick in the butt for ME!!!! Man God knows exactly what you need when you need it. I'm tired of being broke it's got to stop. And that starts with me.

Our Singles class at church is off the chain lol. Really it is. Everyone in the class enjoys it. I am really learning and growing but most important God is healing me through this class. It's crazy I didn't know I had all this residue left from previous relationships. The most important thing i'm learning is how to be whole as a Single woman. Wow I could talk about God and what he is doing in my life all night long but i have to go back into this dinner banquet. I'll update later. Holla lol